Today we’re going to hear from Amber, a reader from Huntsville, Alabama. I am going to forewarn you all that you may need to grab some of your free Scotties as this one is a tear jerker!! I chose to post Amber’s story because I think she is a great example of how couponing can be meaningful in so many different ways!! While couponing may have started as a distraction is has become a means of comfort and stability.
I started couponing in April of this year, because my friend Jennifer coupons so well, and I decided to try to save a few bucks. We have really been struggling for a while, and we shouldn’t be, but the toils of medical bills and cut pay from a terrible event in October of 2009 caused us to be in a financial bind. I am a teacher, and my husband works for the city in landscape management. We are raising our 3-year-old goddaughter, Jaycee, who has been with us since she was 8 months old. A family of 3 isn’t hard to feed, but for some reason, I was spending an unbelievable amount of money on groceries and personal items.
On October 1, 2009, I delivered our first child, Kylie Brielle Keith, at 26 weeks 5 days via emergency c-section. She was 1 pound, 8 ounces, and was 13 inches long. As scary as it was to have such a tiny baby in the NICU, it was thrilling to know I was a mom. When Kylie was 8 days old, she was diagnosed with NEC (necrotizing enterocolitis). At 13 days old, she had emergency surgery to try to fix the problem, and 25 cm of dead and diseased bowel was removed. The next day, I held my daughter for the first time as she passed away in my arms.
The pain from losing my child was unbearable. I found myself in more pain when I had nothing to do, and our medical bills were through the roof because of my medical situation before and after Kylie was born. I was stressed beyond belief. On top of that, I was out of work for nearly 4 months, and my husband had also missed over a month of work. Jaycee had many needs to be met, and we were just sinking under everything. When I started couponing, I really threw myself into it, and it became a healing and coping mechanism for me. I jumped in full force, reading about how to coupon, how to find coupons, and what to do with them. I visited I Heart Publix and other sites DAILY. I scoured my store shelves, and customer service at my local Publix got to know me well. I started carrying my coupons in a few envelopes, moved to an accordion file, and graduated to a binder over thecourse of just 2 months. I started stocking up on things we love, and experienced the rush of discovering cheap and free items. It became a game in many ways, and it actually gave me something to look forward to.
This year has been crazy in so many ways. My husband and I each had our gall-bladders removed, I totaled my car in August, my uncle passed away in December, we had a water leak that displaced us for 2 months (but I did get a new kitchen and bathroom out of it) And that’s just the major stuff! If I didn’t have couponing, I don’t know how I would have made it through all of those stresses. When I felt especially sad, or when I felt the need to break down into a million pieces, I would surround myself with my coupons, and I would work for hours. It still eases my pain a great deal, and it also helps to know that if anything else were to happen, we have the money to take care of the bills and the grocery stock-pile to make it through. I can buy Jaycee Pull-ups for night time, and I can buy us “treats” that we used to avoid because we didn’t have the money. Recently – for the first time ever! – we hired a babysitter and went on a date, because we had the money to do so. From my estimates, we have saved over $1600 since April. I know that when we are blessed with another child, I will be able to save so much money on diapers, formula, baby food, etc. with my new “hobby.” Now it is very rare now that I spend more than I save – I have an average savings at Publix of 65-75% – and my husband doesn’t need body wash until sometime next year! My best deal without being free? I still can’t believe it- 6 boxes of hamburger helper for $.27 TOTAL!
For those who feel that couponing is too time consuming, I want to let you know that I am an AVID couponer, and sometimes spend more time than I probably should, but I can balance coupons with work. I am a full-time teacher, a mom, and a wife. I am also a member of a community action team that makes recommendations for helping parents deal with perinatal loss, have participated in the March for Babies campaign (we raised over $8,000 in 3 months), and am the head of a first-annual event for National Infancy and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day in our city of Huntsville, AL. I also attend monthly bereavement group meetings and always make myself available to other parents who have gone through the loss of a child. I try to blog frequently, and I always try take time to post my grocery deals on my Facebook for my friends.
Best of all, I have Kylie’s photo in the front of my coupon binder, on the outside, so that EVERYONE can see her beautiful face, and she often brings up conversations so I get to talk about her and introduce her to others. That often leads to a discussion about coupons as well, and it has really impacted others to start considering couponing!
I’m so happy to share my story here. If anyone wants to know more about the other things I’m doing, including getting a foundation started, or if you want to read Kylie’s full story, you can go to healingheartsnorthalabama.org, or you can email me at angelkyliesmommy@gmail.com. I am always happy to talk with anyone and share Kylie’s story, or even just talk about how to balance a lot of stuff with couponing!
Thanks so much for sharing, Amber!
In order to keep this new feature going, you all are going to have to volunteer to tell us all about something YOU do when you are couponing!! Your post can be about almost anything to do with couponing. You can tell us about a particularly good or bad situation you’ve dealt with as a couponer, about how you got into couponing or how couponing has impacted the rest of your life, you can make a list of things every new couponer should know…just about anything, really! If you think it’s interesting and it has to do with couponing, email me with your idea at contactiheartpublix @ gmail.com!
Amber thank you for sharing your story.
I am sitting at work with tears in my eyes. May God bless you and your family. You are truly an inspiration!!!
I crying reading your post, because I do , i do , i do know how couponing as helped me coped and coping with very painful series of events in my life starting in August 08.No one gets it that this is theraputic, my free, healthy therapy, a new hobby that saves us money, as a stay at home mom and my savings from using coupon adds up to close to paychecks when i was employed and yes I am AN AVID couponer, scary at times as i refuse to pay full price anymore.
Sorry about your pain and loss , thanks for sharing, absolutely no one gets it how this helps me beyond money, its reward is intangible, I would not have made it without GOD and couponing.
Out of the pain came the joy of sharing and giving to others on a level I never thought an unemployed stay athome mom could.
Thanks michelle for all you do.
THE TRUE MEASURE OF ONES POWER IS THE ABILITY TO TOUCH OTHERS WITHOUT BEING CLOSE.
THANK YOU I NEEDED TO BE REMINDED OF HOW FAR I HAVE COME.
PS. The next time a couponer is infront of you in the checkout lane, remember it’s not always about coupon.
Thankyou for sharing your story, it has touched my heart:)
Wow….very touching story. Thank you so much for sharing.
Amber thank you for sharing your story with us, I too lost my daughter I was 20 weeks prg with her and she had a blood clot in her cord..its very hard to deal with and have other children..My other daughter is name Jaycee as well…(very funny)….Hugs to you and your family…
I too lost a daughter at 26 weeks pregnant because of blood clots. Her cord was full of them and they determined that I had a protein S deficiency. When I did finally get pregnant again with our son I had to take shots from 3 months on of Heparin. Now we have a healthy beautiful son. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of my beloved Breanne. We have her ashes on a shelf in our hallway. I still can’t listen to the Eric Clapton song Tears In Heaven and it has been 8 years. It is a very hard thing to go through. We waited a year before trying again and then it took 4 more years to have a successful pregnancy. And it was very stressful waiting to get to the 26 week mark and beyond. My husband just keeps telling me that we may never have had our son if we hadn’t lost our daughter. Did the doctors tell you that you had a blood clot problem?
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so glad that you had this hobby to help ease your situation. From reading your story, I am able to realise that couponing is a hobby but it helps me gain control of my own situation. It helps us help ourselves. I had never realised that before! I love that I am able to feed my family well for such little money. It also gives me great pleasure to be able to give my extras to others in need. Thank you for sharing!
Glad Scotties were on sale the other week! Hugs to you.
Thank you for sharing your story. Very touching!!! Also, very nice to know that you have been able to cope and conquer a very tragic moment. Best of all you’re still helping alot of others in more ways then one!!! 🙂 KUDOS KUDOS and more KUDOS!!! 🙂
Wow. Thank you for sharing your story. I cried. I also started couponing as a stress release. It was necessary to do something to get my financial situation in order and couponing helped.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m am so sorry for your loss. I know all too well your pain. My daughter was stillborn at 41 weeks in July 2004. I’ve gone on to deliver two beautiful, healthy boys but there is not a day that goes by that I don’t think of my sweet angel baby. I’m glad you found a constructive way to help you through the pain.
I am so sorry that your daughter was born sleeping..the pain never fads…hugs
God bless you and your family. I can not even begin to imagine what you have been thru. I am so sorry for all your pain.
Thank you all so much for your kind words and for your thoughts and prayers! I am so blessed to have this opportunity to share with you my two most favorite things: Kylie and couponing! =) Thank you for receiving my story with such warmth, and thank you for listening. It is an honor to be chosen as today’s reader spotlight!
What a beautiful, touching story. May God bless you beyond measure for the pain you have suffered….Thank you for sharing this with us.
Thanks for sharing your story. I have worked for 28 years in an NICU as a repiratory therapist. I have seen so many families suffer a tragedy like yours. It is awesome that you have taken something positive away from that heart breaking experience and are not only helping your family,but so many others. Thanks for all you do. You are truly making a difference in this world.
Thank you for sharing your moving story. It’s reminders like this that make me even more grateful for my daughter. She too was a preemie. I had her at 24 weeks and she weighed 1lb 9oz. She’ll be 14 in November.
@Patty – many many many thanks to you and the other staff that work in NICU’s everywhere (my daughter was born in London). Unless you actually come into contact with these wards you just don’t know how much work it truly it. I know that it can ben extremely trying at times…..
God bless you for making something positive and helpful to others out of your great tragedy. I had a miscarriage once,very early, and it was hard, but I can’t even imagine how much harder it would have been if I had carried it longer and had held it in my arms! My sister has had miscarriages yet still kept trying, she lost one preemie, a beautiful little girl, within hours of being born. she now has a beautiful little boy that is 5 that was born very early. She also has two daughters that she had no problems with her pregnancy. I honestly don’t think I would have had her strength to keep trying, bless her heart!
on another note, my grandmother, who is 87 now, was born preemie. her twin died. This is back when they delivered at home and didn’t have the technology they have now. Preemies really didn’t have much of a chance. I think it is really amazing that my great-grandfather brought her through. She only weighed a little over a pound. There were no incubators so he kept her in a shoebox in the warming oven to keep her warm!! I am always amazed when I think of that, lol.
This is such a beautifully written, heartfelt story. I admire you, Amber, for your strength and your resolve to help others in similar situations.
I would have never thought that I had used couponing as a coping mechanism until your story. You delivered that “aha” moment for me like on Oprah. I miscarried a couple of years ago and the doctor called me on my cellphone to let me know I would miscarry. He didn’t console or have that bedside manner that you want from a doctor delivering bad news. He informed me that I could pregnancy, scared to death, and extremely depressed, I did miscarry at my home with my husband and parents supporting me. It was painful and emotionally draining. Few weeks later, I received a bill for a D & C that I never had from the doctor. Needless to say, I changed doctors, called the insurance company to inform them about the fraudulent bill and was in deep depression. 3 1/2 months later, I found out that I was pregnant again. I had a specialist from the beginning with a wonderful bedside manner. He informed me that my placenta was unhealthy which made the baby work for all of his nutrition and I had kidney disease. Confined to the bed with oxygen and swelling, I wasn’t getting any better. Toxemia had developed and now I needed to have steroid shots to make sure his lungs would develop before delivery. I delivered via C-section and no one prepares you for the roller coaster ride of a preemie. I have only watched the delivery video one time because it is too emotional. Hearing the baby cry is such a welcoming moment for a mother but that cry stopped immediately in the video. The nurses’ demeanor immediately changed and my angel is rushed out of the operating room to the NICU struggling to breath. The steroid shots did not work and his lungs had collapsed. Leaving my baby at the hospital was the hardest thing I have ever done. That first month that my son was in the NICU I went to the grocery store at least five nights a week before closing. I didn’t want to go home to an empty crib so after staying with him all day in the NICU, I would leave the hospital and stop at the grocery store to coupon. I never realized until tonight that couponing was my coping mechanism to fight off depression and to keep me going. It was the high that I needed to get me to the next day until I could see my son. Thanks Amber for your heartfelt story. You gave insight that I never realized until tonight.
Amber~ words can just not express the pain in my heart i have for you. I just looked at your website and read your full story and it is just heartwrenching, your kylie is just a little beauty!! I’m so turly sorry for your loss.
Thank you for sharing, Amber. You are a very strong woman and it is amazing how much you are doing for other mothers in your same situation. I was recently making a mental list of the women I admire most in this world, and I was amazed at how many of them had lost children. Even though it is a terrible and horrible thing to go through, these women have come out of it as such amazing people. I am sure you are the same way.
Wow! Your story was amazing. I am so sorry for your loss. I think a great majority of us coupon to deal with other issues in our lives. It can become an obsession. I know I become obsessed about it at times that I have to go and get the latest deal. I am saving my family lots of money though and doing what I love at the same time shopping! Cheers to never paying full price again!!
Amber thank you for sharing your story and I am pleased to hear that you participate in or head up the groups you mention. Good luck to you.
Get out the Scotties is right … Amber, my heart breaks for you, and for all the other mommies (and daddies) who’ve experienced this pain … And I never realized it, but its helped me cope too … My pain is entirely other, but couponing has definitely been a healing salve … Thank you so much for sharing
Amber may god continue to bless and heal both you and ur family..I love your dedication and determination..Thanks for sharing your inspiration..
Crystal
Atlanta Ga